Changing your life is more about mindset than anything else.
While we use finances, people, timing – whatever we can dream up – as an excuse for why we’re stuck, the real reason is that our mindset is not in alignment with where we want to go in life.
Here are four mindset shifts that you need to make in order to manifest your perfect life:
1) Recognize When You’ve Outgrown Your Current Situation
Most people are terrible at recognizing when they’ve outgrown something in their life. They struggle with feelings of frustration, or a lack of fulfillment for months, or even years, when the root cause of these feelings have been staring them in the face the whole time.
The sooner that you can learn to recognize when you’ve outgrown an area of your life, the better off you will be.
It’s easy to recognize and act when we’ve outgrown our home or car. Replacing these items in our life doesn’t require sacrifice and discomfort.
But when you’ve outgrown your job or career, relationship, religion, or even your friends – it’s equally important to recognize that, and then act on it.
I know, it’s uncomfortable.
And while there is no societal push-back on upgrading your home or your car, upgrading other areas of your life like relationships, your worldview, and sometimes your career can take you well outside of your comfort zone. And it may put you at odds with your friends, family, and even your partner.
But it’s worth it.
You gain nothing from attempting to fit within a life that doesn’t fit you anymore. It will eat away at you. You’ll be miserable and unhappy and full of regret and resentment – which is way more uncomfortable than the temporary discomfort (and fear) that you will feel if you take action sooner than later.
If something in your life no longer fits, recognize that, and then change it!
2) Get Specific About What You Want
Once you have recognized an aspect of your life that you’ve outgrown, it’s time to get specific about what you want to replace it with.
And you need to get very specific!
Don’t just say “I want a better job,” or “I want a loving relationship”. Get specific about what that is. Imagine it. Daydream about it. Feel it! Work out every detail in your mind.
Too often, we create vague goals. But vague goals lead to vague action. Vague action guarantees that you will never achieve what you set out to do.
So if you want to quit your day job and make a six-figure income as a blogger, then you need to get specific about what your life will be like.
What will your blog be about?
How will you spend your days?
What type of people will you meet, and network with?
How will you spend your income?
What doors will your blog open up for you? What will your blog allow you to do with your life?
You can be specific about a relationship goal, too. Think about what type of person you want to meet. What activities will you do together? What interests will you pursue? What kind of sex life will you have?
Getting specific about what you want does two things.
First, it turns a desire into a tangible goal – a destination that you can see and feel. It makes it easier to take action toward manifesting that goal.
Secondly, getting specific about what you want keeps you on track. You’re less likely to settle for something less than you want if you have a clear idea of what it is that will fulfill you, and make you happy.
Don’t create vague goals. Be specific about what you want, and how achieving those goals will serve you.
3) Follow Your Intuition
Here’s another tricky mindset shift – follow your intuition.
Why is it that we seek advice from everybody else but ourselves? It’s like we believe that all of our friends, family, and strangers on the Internet know more about life, career, relationships – anything at all – than we do.
But it’s not true.
You have a deep capacity for guiding yourself toward where you need to go.
The problem is that our minds cloud our judgement. We let fear, self doubt, and our inner critic speak louder than our own intuition.
A friend’s or stranger’s advice feels so wise because they can see clearly into our problem without fear and doubt.
The problem is, a friend’s or stranger’s idea of what’s best for us, or what our our life should be like, is not necessarily in alignment with what we truly want.
Nobody knows us as deeply as we know ourselves. The other people have their own mental/emotional programming, life experience, and limiting beliefs that they project onto us.
So in actuality, you need to learn to be your own guide. Let your intuition be your own compass.
You can do that by silencing your inner critic, and recognizing fear for what it is – limiting beliefs.
One of the biggest reasons we seek advice from others is because we feel fear about making our own decisions.
But here’s the thing – if you feel fear, then you’re probably moving in the right direction. And most of your friends and family will likely agree with your fears and steer you away from it.
But if your intuition is pulling you down a path that makes you afraid, you can’t let others talk you out of it. The greater your fear, the greater the reward in life.
Now obviously, there are times when fear is legitimate. If you are walking in a city at night and you sense fear about walking down a dark, deserted street, then it’s best to trust your intuition and choose another way home.
But if you are simply afraid of the discomfort of changing careers, or getting out of a relationship, that fear is not legitimate. Don’t let it keep you stuck in a situation that doesn’t make you happy and fulfilled.
4) Lean Into Action
Finally, I would like to talk about leaning into action.
You don’t need a plan of action. You don’t need to know all of the steps involved with getting from point A to point B.
People who feel like they need to know everything, or who need an action plan with all of the steps spelled out in detail almost never implement that plan. Even when it’s handed to them.
When Tracy and I started blogging back in 2009, we didn’t know how to turn a blog into a business that would pay our bills. We didn’t know the first thing about marketing, or social media, or sales, or technology, or any of the skills that we’ve picked up in the past years of just building our website.
We just started writing content. We started talking to people on social media. We read a few Internet marketing blogs (but we didn’t spend all our time reading and not implementing what we learned).
We took the first step on our own, and then got help (coaching/mentorship) to grow our business and keep us on track toward our dream.
We leaned into action, rather than getting stuck in the preparation phase.
Leaning into action applies to all areas of your life that you want to change.
If you want to change your career, then start sending out resumes. Start volunteering in a different field to figure out what it is that you want to do with your life.
If you want to be an entrepreneur, start a side hustle or create a blog.
Don’t wait until you have six months of living expenses in the bank, a business plan, and all that other prep work. Just start doing something on the side that earns revenue.
If you want to relocate, then start selling your junk. Simplify your life. Network with people who live in the area you want to live. Visit.
If you need to shift your relationship, then take steps to fix it, or end it.
Stop waiting until you feel ready. You will never feel ready. Just start taking action today – right now!
I can’t emphasize enough how our mindset either leads us to creating a life we love, or keeps us stuck in a life that makes us miserable.
The biggest thing standing between where you are in life right now, and where you want to be in life, is your mindset.