Changing your life is more about mindset than anything else.
While we use finances, people, timing – whatever we can dream up – as an excuse for why we’re stuck, the real reason is that our mindset is not in alignment with where we want to go in life.
Here are four mindset shifts that you need to make in order to manifest your perfect life:
1) Recognize When You’ve Outgrown Your Current Situation
Most people are terrible at recognizing when they’ve outgrown something in their life. They struggle with feelings of frustration, or a lack of fulfillment for months, or even years, when the root cause of these feelings have been staring them in the face the whole time.
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The sooner that you can learn to recognize when you’ve outgrown an area of your life, the better off you will be.
It’s easy to recognize and act when we’ve outgrown our home or car. Replacing these items in our life doesn’t require sacrifice and discomfort.
But when you’ve outgrown your job or career, relationship, religion, or even your friends – it’s equally important to recognize that, and then act on it.
I know, it’s uncomfortable.
And while there is no societal push-back on upgrading your home or your car, upgrading other areas of your life like relationships, your worldview, and sometimes your career can take you well outside of your comfort zone.
It may put you at odds with your friends, family, and even your partner.
But it’s worth it.
You gain nothing from attempting to fit within a life that doesn’t fit you anymore. It will eat away at you. You will be miserable and unhappy and full of regret and resentment – which is way more uncomfortable than the temporary discomfort (and fear) that you will feel if you take action sooner than later.
If something in your life no longer fits, recognize that, and then allow yourself to find something that’s a better fit.
2) Get Specific About What You Want
Once you have recognized an aspect of your life that you’ve outgrown, it’s time to get specific about what you want to replace it with.
You need to get very specific!
Don’t just say “I want a better job,” or “I want a loving relationship”. Get specific about what that is. Imagine it. Daydream about it. Feel it! Work out every detail in your mind.
Too often, we create vague goals. But vague goals lead to vague action. Vague action guarantees that you will never achieve what you set out to do.
So if you want to quit your day job and turn your side-hustle into a six-figure business, then you need to get specific about what your life will be like.
How many customers or clients would you need to serve?
What will this income allow you to accomplish?
What are the most important actions you need to focus on right now?
You can be specific about a relationship goal, too. Think about what type of person you want to meet. What activities will you do together? What interests will you pursue? What kind of sex life will you have?
Getting specific about what you want does two things.
First, it turns a desire into a tangible goal – a destination that you can see and feel. It makes it easier to take action toward manifesting that goal.
Secondly, getting specific about what you want keeps you on track. You’re less likely to settle for something less than you want if you have a clear idea of what it is that will fulfill you, and make you happy.
Don’t create vague goals. Be specific about what you want, and how achieving those goals will serve you.
3) Follow Your Intuition
Here’s another tricky mindset shift – follow your intuition.
Why is it that we seek advice from everybody else but ourselves? It’s like we believe that all of our friends, family, and strangers on the Internet know more about life, career, relationships – anything at all – than we do.
But it’s not true.
You have a deep capacity for guiding yourself toward where you need to go.
The problem is that our minds cloud our judgement. We let fear, self doubt, and our inner critic speak louder than our own intuition.
A friend’s or stranger’s advice feels so wise because they can see clearly into our problem without fear and doubt.
The problem is, a friend’s or stranger’s idea of what is best for us, or what our our life should be like, is not necessarily in alignment with what we truly want.
Nobody knows us as deeply as we know ourselves. Other people have their own mental and emotional programming, life experience, and limiting beliefs that they project onto us.
So in actuality, you need to learn to be your own guide. Let your intuition be your own compass.
You can do that by silencing your inner critic, and recognizing fear for what it is – limiting beliefs.
One of the biggest reasons we seek advice from others is because we feel fear about making our own decisions.
But here’s the thing – if you feel fear, then you’re probably moving in the right direction. Unfortunately, most of your friends and family will likely agree with your fears and steer you away from it.
But if your intuition is pulling you down a path that makes you afraid, you can’t let others talk you out of it. The greater your fear, the greater the reward in life.
Now obviously, there are times when fear is legitimate. If you are walking in a city at night and you sense fear about walking down a dark, deserted street, then it’s best to trust your intuition and choose another way home.
But if you are simply afraid of the discomfort of changing careers, or getting out of a relationship, that fear is not legitimate. Don’t let it keep you stuck in a situation that doesn’t make you happy and fulfilled.
4) Lean Into Action
Finally, I would like to talk about leaning into action.
You don’t need a plan of action. You don’t need to know all of the steps involved with getting from point A to point B.
People who feel like they need to know everything, or who need an action plan with all of the steps spelled out in detail almost never implement that plan – even when it’s handed to them.
When Tracy and I decided to live in the Yucatan for six months, we had no idea how to find a place to live, or how transportation would work, or what the visa situation was like. We didn’t even speak Spanish!
Yes, it was scary, and at time overwhelming, but we leaned into action.
We read about how others did it. We searched rentals online (and learned how to spot scams). We identified areas we could get around without having to rely on a vehicle.
Overwhelm and the fear of the unknown turned into purchased plane tickets and a rented cabana because we leaned into action.
Leaning into action applies to all areas of your life that you want to change.
If you want to change your career, then start sending out resumes. Start volunteering in a different field to figure out what it is that you want to do with your life.
If you want to be an entrepreneur, start a side hustle. Don’t wait until the time feels right. Just start doing something on the side that earns revenue.
If you want to relocate, then start selling your junk. Simplify your life. Network with people who live in the area you want to live. Visit.
If you need to shift your relationship, then take steps to fix it, or end it.
Stop waiting until you feel ready. You will never feel ready. Just start leaning into action today – right now!
I can’t emphasize enough how our mindset either leads us toward creating a life we love, or keeps us stuck in a life that makes us miserable.
The biggest thing standing between where you are in life right now, and where you want to be, is the mindset that supports your daily habits.